Behind The Scenes At The NPHET Staff Xmas Party

WWN IS not the sort of publication that engages in the pally pally relationship that exists between the media and those working within the corridors of power.

We don’t accept gifts and freebies which flood into newsrooms in the run up to Christmas from major brands. That’s not our journalistic bag.

However, when we received an invite to the NPHET Xmas party we couldn’t resist and discovered the festive fun and japes of Holohan and co. provided the perfect party template that could be applied around the country, and we simply felt it was irresponsible not to share the highlights:

Logging in via a Zoom invite link at 4.30pm sharp, we were overjoyed to remotely meet everyone who were remotely logging in from separate remote locations, remotely.

Admittedly, Zoom parties have countless drawbacks, but it’s much easier to hide your cocaine consumption so happy days.

Tony kicked things off with a series of graphs highlighting a best and worst case scenario for the reproduction rate of laughter and craic. It made for disappointing reading.

At best we were looking at 40 instances of forced polite laughter and 1 genuine belly ache at someone being unintentionally hilarious.

The volume of the Christmas tunes remained at a responsible level of 5 out of a maximum volume of 36. No, we have no idea why a leading smart speaker brand’s volume goes to a max of 36 and not 10 or 100.

Secret Santa next; a maximum spend of €5 limited options but the look on Tony’s face when he unwrapped an antigen test was hilarious.

With advice to reduce our contact with the fridge we were only able to justify two cans during the Zoom.

The best parties feel like they whizz by in a flash and this was no different, with the party wrapping up at 4.42pm after what felt like 2 very long years.