Local Youths Suspiciously Compliant With Face Mask Rules


“WE’VE all got parents, we’ve all got grandparents. We’re just doing what we can to protect them,” explained one Waterford youth we interviewed today, in our study of teenagers who wear face-coverings at all times of the day.

Although many groups have doubted the effectiveness of face masks in battling Covid-19 and many more are suffering from ‘mask wearing fatigue’, there remains large portions of young men who are perfectly happy to have added masks to their standard uniform of black North Face jackets and grey tracksuit bottoms that stop just above the ankle.

These selfless youngsters are so cautious, that they even wear masks when they’re on their own, miles away from anyone, such as when they’re wandering through your estate at night, checking your car to make sure it’s safely locked.

“We couldn’t like, live with ourselves if we were responsible for transmitting the deadly virus, ya know?” our source added.

“So when the government said ‘wear face-coverings’, we of course complied. We wear them during the day, when we’re hanging out at the train station, when we’re sitting on the wall outside people’s houses, when we’re buzzing around on e-scooters… all the time”.

The youths have also stated that they’re perfectly fine with wearing masks for the foreseeable future, regardless of restrictions, even in the summer months, any time at all really.