Government Consider Tax To Pay Mica Redress Or Whatever Will Turn Public Against Affected Families


A SPOKESPERSON for government has confirmed it is confident it can rely on the ease with which the Irish public can be goaded into factional infighting rather than realising they are being poorly served by powerful and disinterested institutions, WWN has learned.

Sharing with the media that an extra tax may be needed to pay for the fact successive governments have refused to stand up to the construction sector and will continue to refuse to enhance regulations and oversight of building materials, the government is once again innocently asking ‘full redress, really? For a bunch you don’t know? It’ll cost ya!’

“An extra tax will likely be needed, I’m sorry but if you want these familes from Donegal of all places getting 100% redress, we can’t leave any stone unturned,” confirmed the government, ignoring all stones related to introducing regulations that would mean suppliers like the ones involved in the Mica cases could never get away with something like this again.

Known for sitting on reports months and years after they’re published and actually being forced to court in an effort to make them comply with a legal obligation to make reports public, the government had no such issue circulating a report which estimated the cost of Mica redress at €3bn.

“C’mon, we know what you’re like if we get enough people on the radio and TV repeating the figure of €3 billion enough times, you’ll magically see families in crumbling houses transform into blood sucking something-for-nothing monsters,” confirmed a government spokesperson.

The government confirmed it is committed to continue missing its own deadlines of a decision around redress until the tide of public opinion eventually begins turning against the homeowners.