REVEALED: Local Man Hasn’t Washed Hands Since He Got Vaccinated In June

CITING ‘job done’ way back in June, local man Gavin Kilty confessed to throwing out all simple and sensible Covid prevention measures long ago.

“The scent of alcohol scented hand sanitiser hasn’t reached my nose since I walked out of that vaccination centre for the second and final time,” confirmed Kilty, who had no idea wearing face masks over his nose, washing hands and keeping socially distant was still the ongoing advice.

“I’m not an eejit I’ve been doing my bit by wearing the mask below my nose and mostly under my chin since June like,” Kilty defended, when learning of authorities fresh reiteration of the importance of a ‘back to basics’ attitude to hygiene.

“I did go back to basics for me; not washing hands, scratch arse sniff finger, cough like I’m trying to launch a missile skyward from my throat. And now I’m being told that’s not enough? Well, if that was the case you’d think someone would have told me,” added Kilty, of regular news reports he tuned out of the second he was jabbed.

Searching for a way to find fault in what he has been told so he could half-heartedly justify not being arsed anymore, Kilty remarked that none of the guidance to wash hands, keep space, reduce contacts and wear masks made any sense because some buildings were now allowed have more people in them.

“Okay so I have to wash my hands for the first time in months like some sort of clean freak, but the nightclubs are open? So much for ‘return to normal’,” queried Kilty, settling on a sentence format which he hopes will get him off the hook when being asked to do the most basic things imaginable.

Elsewhere, one local publican hit back at reports some premises are not checking Covid Certs at the door by stating “I did it once in August, what more can I do?”