EU Apologises For ‘Pulling An England On It’ By Invoking Article 16

EUROPEAN COMMISSIONER Ursula von der Leyen has unreservedly apologised for ‘acting the complete and utter Brit’ by blithely invoking Article 16 of the withdrawal agreement and setting up the possibility of casually trampling all over the Good Friday Agreement, which was ‘very English of her’.

“Who am I, Boris Johnson?” von der Leyen said, accompanying her quip with embarrassed laughter.

Von der Leyen says she regrets using the threat of restricting movement of goods across the border in a dispute with AstraZeneca over vaccine supplies, admitting it was very ‘Tory’ of her, before seeking forgiveness.

“Of course, I’m not a Tory…I actually know where Northern Ireland is on a map,” she added, her contrition very clear.

The diplomatic misstep left the Irish public scratching their heads.

“Wait, are the EU the bad guys again?” queried the Irish public, who have vivid memories of the Troika, and the post-2008 financial crash.

“Just give us a bit of notice next time, so we can get our heads around not automatically blaming some Oxbridge twat in Westminster who has a title like the Earl of Werthers Original,” confirmed the Irish public.

Meanwhile, it is believed this will all be forgotten very quickly on account of the fact that thanks to England pulling ‘the most England of Englands’ by implementing Brexit, Loyalists thugs are now threatening the lives of port staff and EU officials in Northern Ireland.