AMERICA has reached the very grim milestone of 250,000 Covid-19 deaths… but has it, like, really though?
We hand over these pages to our new investigative unit WWN ConspiraSEE who tasked themselves with getting to the bottom of these claims but found a truth far more sinister:
There are some universal truths we can accept; the earth is flat and Donald Trump won the 2020 US presidential race by anywhere between one and one hundred million votes.
But you shouldn’t believe all the things you read in the lamestream media. Their latest ridiculous claim; 250,000 people have now died from Coronavirus in the US.
Well, if that’s true, WWN ConspiraSEE has one simple question; where are they all? We searched the highways and byways, the suburbs, cities and farmlands and the same sinister ‘coincidences’ kept piling up.
We’d see a RIP listing in a local US paper for someone who died, then, when we went looking for them, it was like they’d vanished into thin air.
We’d arrive at their homes only to find some upset relatives crying, but no sign of the person who allegedly ‘died’ from the ‘real’ ‘Coronavirus’ that is ‘definitely ‘happening’. When we got to old folks homes a utterly exhausted and broken nursing home carer would say ‘they’re gone, sorry’, but where to?
What a happy coincidence, that everywhere we went, the same pattern repeated: people lost in grief, mourning someone that was conveniently not available to talk about how they, ahem, ‘died’ from the virus.
We banged on the door of one old woman’s home who claimed her husband had died (convenient) and couldn’t come to the door because he was in an urn on the mantelpiece, how impossibly strange – who puts their loved ones in urns, we’ve never heard of that before.
When we kept shouting at her about a secret Democrat paedophile ring run from the basement of a pizza parlour that injects Bill Gates directly into your veins she called the cops. Sounds like someone’s got something to hide.
You’d think a Democrat plot cooked up in a Chinese lab wouldn’t have such glaring flaws. Are we supposed to believe that in the space of less than a year 250,000 people up and disappeared in one the most allegedly prosperous countries in the world? Please.
Hospitals are ‘overwhelmed’, so why weren’t we allowed into the emergency room to see how the contagious pandemic has a strangle hold on hospitals? All we got from a guy in full PPE was ‘Sir, it is not common practice to let random people tour a Covid-19 ward were patients are struggling for their lives, I thought the reasons for this would be obvious’. Oh, they were oh so obvious, buddy.
Wow, they really expect us to swallow this hooey.
WWN ConspiraSEE vows to continue searching for answers until you, our very rational readers who need no emergency medical intervention on account of Facebook turning your brain to mush, learn the real truth truth.