Coping With Sexy Thatcher: A Guide

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SEXUAL feelings unstirred since the heyday of The X-Files have come roaring to the fore for thousands of men and women following the release of season 4 of The Crown, which includes everybody’s redhead crush of the mid-90s Gillian Anderson in the pivotal role of hated British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.

Although the casting and Anderson’s subsequent performance have received widespread acclaim, many are having to cope with the unusual feeling of being highly aroused by Margaret Thatcher, leading to widespread shame among Irish fans of The Crown.

“First of all, Irish people who watch The Crown obviously have some deep-rooted sexual issues” said sex therapist Una Ring, speaking exclusively to WWN about this and only this.

“Deep down, you’re looking to get punished for your state of arousal; it’s perfectly normal in a post-colonial, horny as fuck country such as Ireland. If you find yourself feeling attracted to Margaret Thatcher, you probably should just run with it. But you must own it; you’re not attracted to Gillian Anderson, and don’t pretend you are. It’s Maggie that’s doing it for you. Own that”.

Other issues facing Irish people during season 4 of The Crown include a sense of sympathy for Prince Charles, a newfound respect for Camilla Parker-Bowles, and a swaying opinion about the British army’s role in the history of Northern Ireland.

“You’re gong to sit there and shake your head in dismay at the actions of Republicans, you dirty little perv” explained Dr. Ring.

“You love it. You can’t get enough of it you filthy little West Brit. You can’t get enough to that revisionist history can you? You’re such a slut for high production values, aren’t you?”.

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