“It’s A Fraud” Claims World Famous Fraud

DONALD TRUMP, the world’s preeminent expert on perpetrating deception, chicanery and fraud on expectant people has today falsely claimed that the counting of citizens’ votes as part of a democratic election is ‘fraud’.

The US president for now, who knows what happens next, is believed to know something about fraud having paid $25 million in a settlement to Trump University students who say they were defrauded, which is different from counting votes; commonly referred to as democracy, not fraud.

“Wow, for someone so well versed in being fraudulent himself, he’s pretty fucking terrible at identifying it in others,” confirmed one observer.

Yes the man, who’s third wife for now, who knows what happens next, arrived in the US in 1996 on a H-1B visa reserved for people with ‘extraordinary abilities’ despite being a model is really pulling the fraud card, seriously.

Despite filing for multiple bankruptcies that left him owing millions of dollars, and currently being investigated by the tax department of New York for potential tax fraud, the confused New Yorker took to TV and called people voting ‘fraud’.

“We have won the election fairly but it is also somehow a fraud being carried out by my rival,” explained the man who paid $750 in federal taxes and purposefully downplayed Covid-19 when he knew the potentially devastating impact it could have.

The Republican, whose administration stood accused of slowing down the US Postal Service to create a scenario in which mail-in ballots arrived late and took days to count, has claimed that if this scenario that his administration planned for occurred it would be proof of fraud*.

*Legal voting.

The 74-year-old also claimed he is still somehow loved by unfathomably large portions of the American people in what has proved to be his only true statement since votes began to be counted.