Report Suggests Visors Useless Against Covid & Oh For Fuck Sake Can’t This Miserable Piece Of Shit Year Just Give Us A Break For 5 Fucking Seconds, I Mean, Come On

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NEWS that visors are virtually useless when combating the spread of and exposure to Covid-19 is just the latest example of 2020 refusing to give anyone a break, even for five fucking seconds.

“Jesus, we’re just trying our best and following guidelines but this ceaselessly malevolent, unextinguishable dumpster fire of the year just won’t let up, oh and Eddie Van Halen died, nice. Wrap Judi Dench up in cotton wool, that’s all I’m saying,” confirmed one person who once this is all over, if ever, will steadfastly refuse to acknowledge 2020 ever happened so long as he lives.

When asked for further information about the efficacy of face masks over visors, experts confirmed “this piece of shit year can eat my ass”, highlighting how a growing number of frazzled and tired people just want a moment’s fucking reprieve from this shit show which snowballed into a festival of faeces and grew into a week long VIP conference of caca.

The average person, who just tries to get through the day without breaking down while ugly crying, is constantly interrupted with news notifications about how the thing/restriction/guideline/measure we were all doing to help one another has either turned out to be pointless or served the exact opposite purpose it was intended for.

“Oh and now Greenland’s ice sheets are melting at their fastest rates in 12,000 years. Honestly, I’m gonna reach down the throat of the next motherfucker bringing me bad news and wear his internal organs like a nightgown. No, no, wait, that’s exactly what 2020 wants, don’t take the bait,” confirmed an uncharacteristically agitated Dalai Lama.

UPDATE: Scotland no longer allowed alcohol in pubs. Fucking Scotland!

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