HI, [insert country name here]. Thank you for your purchase of ‘1,000 new Amazon jobs’. Your purchase will be with your shortly! While you are waiting for your arrival of ‘1,000 new Amazon jobs’, please consider the following add-on purchases, which customers such as yourselves also bought:
1) Retention of said jobs
For the simple fee of a near-zero tax rate for Amazon and it’s affiliated partners, your country will be able to hold onto the 1,000 jobs we’ve just sent you. Although you may feel that your initial purchase of the 1,000 jobs is enough to allow you to keep them, this is not the case.
Amazon can take these jobs away from you at any time, and you will be known as the government who lost 1,000 jobs, instead of the government who kept 1,000 jobs. Please insert ridiculously low tax rate to complete this transaction!
2) Better public transport
As with most multinational investments, these jobs will mostly take place at some far-flung industrial estate on the distant edge of a busy city. As such, you may wish to purchase an additional public transport corridor, or upgrade your existing motorways to accommodate 1,000 extra cars moving at peak times during the day.
Failure to invest may cause significant hassle for your citizens and the government that follows you, so be sure to invest in their future!
3) Affordable housing
As Amazon intends to pay the 1,000 workers the absolute least amount of money they possible can, you may wish to do something about your current housing situation.
Our workers are unlikely to be able to afford to save for a home of their own if their rent remains as high as it is at the moment, so unless you want them stuck in a rental trap for their entire working lives, now is the time to invest in a solution to this problem.
You have clicked [YES] to option 1 and [NO] to options 2 & 3.