Parent Teaching Kids At Home Almost As Checked-Out As Actual Teacher


AS the primary school year enters its last week of a testing 2020 semester, WWN caught up with some home-schooling parents who believe that the challenges posed by Covid-19 have made them appreciate the efforts their kid’s teachers go through in order to ‘zone out’ in the closing days.

“I didn’t even smoke at the start of all this” mused Breda O’Hennessey, who ducked out for a smoke break at half ten this morning after telling her two kids to put their heads on their desks and ‘Téigh a chodladh’ for ten minutes.

“But when you’re teaching, you need something small to get you through the day. A quick smoke does the job for me. Alright, better get back in and teach these little fuckers long division”.

For 33-year-old mum of three and newly-appointed teacher Marion Conlon, the still-closed pubs and nightclubs remain a bitter reminder that she may be doing all the work of a member of teaching staff, but she isn’t getting any of the bonuses.

“At least if this was normal times and you were a normal teacher, you could head out to the pub and get fucking wrecked three nights of the week” sighed Conlon, entering into her 10th week of trying to juggle her own work as well as conjugating irregular verbs.

“So now we’ve rolled into the last week of school, I can really empathise with teachers who have checked out, because pal, I checked out a fortnight ago. Never again will I criticise a teacher for not sending home homework in the last week of school. At this stage, you don’t care if the kids straight up forget how to read”.

Meanwhile the nation’s Dads have also checked out of their kids educations, although there’s evidence that this happened in early March.