Local Kid Expecting Interest Next Time He Sees Grandparents


ALTHOUGH the cancellation of payments to visiting grandchildren has come as a huge relief to elderly citizens around the country, WWN has discovered that a nefarious plot by ruthless kids to impose ‘missed payment’ fees may result in financial ruin for some pensioners.

“A lot of grandparents took advantage of the so-called ‘payment holiday’, believing it to be just that; a break in their payments to their grandkids” said economist Arthur Scanlan, speaking to WWN’s finance department.

“But in actual fact, these kids are simply tacking the payments they would have received from Granny and Granda onto their next visit when the Coronavirus restrictions are lifted, and a lot of them are invoking a special interest rate that many grandparents did not know existed”.

Although the move has been met with horror by the over-50 community, one grandchild of four we spoke to stressed that what he was doing was entirely legal, and that Nanna and Granda should make preparations for the incursion of fees from August on.

“You might not like it, but I’m a grandchild; that’s my job, that’s my sole source of income” said Dean McEneany, 8.

“Some people call me a ‘vulture grandchild’, but I prefer ‘good businessman’. I’m entitled to a weekly payment of €5 and all the sweets I can eat from my grandparents, there’s no reason why I should have to miss out on that due to Covid-19.

“As far as I’m concerned, my grandparents have no other outgoings apart from me, so therefore they should not have spent that money or eaten those jam sandwiches themselves. When Phase 5 hits in August, I want full compensation. They agreed to it when they became grandparents in the first place, it’s all there in the fine print”.

Meanwhile, parents around the country are remaining silent on the matter, claiming that they ‘knew nothing’ about any of these grandparent-grandkid payments in the first place.