Local Man Fondly Remembers Getting Ripped Off At Cinema, Restaurants, Everywhere Really


AS the country enters its second month of Covid-19 lockdown, local people such as Waterford native Eric Halfard have begun to fondly reminisce of a time when you could go out with just €200 in your pocket, have a night out and a bag of chips, and come home with fuck all left.

“Remember the cinema? Remember the popcorn? Can you believe that only used to cost a whole tenner” sighed Halfard, on a Skype call with his palls.

“And what about a round of shots?” added Eric’s pal Mark Gatlan.

“Remember you’d be at the bar and ask for a tray of shots for you, the the lads and like, four strangers, and you’d get your bank balance on Monday and see it cost you €67? Good times”.

“Oh, oh, oh; 9 euro for a sandwich in a cafe. What a world,” Seamus Elvery chimed in with.

Like the rest of the country, Halfard and his amigos are fretful that when society re-opens later this year, the pocket-emptying activities they love will no longer be with us.

“If only the government would give us some reassurances that we’re still going to be paying well over the odds for everything” sighed Halfard, looking at a can of Coke that he paid nearly 2 euro for.

“What if everything opens up again, and we’re not getting absolutely gouged at every turn? Will it be the same? Have we changed forever? It’ll really feel like the virus won, if we’re not paying €120 every time we take the family to the cinema. And rent; don’t get me started on rent! Who will we be as a people if we’re not handing over 70% of our pay every month for a small living space!”

Although the government has yet to comment on whether or not Ireland will remain as expensive as ever after Covid-19, all signs currently point to ‘yes’.