Coronavirus 80% Scarier Now It Has A Code Name

THE World Health Organisation has garnered the attention of every man, woman and child who had up to this point ignored the Coronavirus outbreak; simply by referring to it by a new name, Covid-19.

Citizens who had dismissed the Coronavirus as ‘just another scare-tactic sickness dreamed up to sell face masks’ are now living in fear for their lives as the disease makes its way around the world, with new cases reported every minute.

On top of a new medical-sounding name that contains not only a hyphen but at number as well, Corvid-19 has begun to strike in European cities, with experts certain that it’s only a matter of time before it properly hits English-speaking nations too.

“It was all grand when it was out in China, and it had the name of a popular beer in its title,” stated one Irish person we spoke to.

“But now it’s killing lads in Italy? Sure I was only in Italy there last summer. Who knows where it will go next? And listen, Coronavirus was funny, Coronavirus was something you could say you had, as a joke if you just had a bad hangover… but Covid-19? Well, that suggests the existence of Covid-1,2,3, all the way up to 18, and also the possibility that a Covid-20 might come along…”.

Meanwhile people reading this in a public place should take a good look around for signs of anyone with Covid-19. If you don’t spot anyone, it’s you.