Thank God FAI Is Ireland’s Only Poorly Run, Possibly Criminal Organisation


THE IRISH public has taken to a nearby seat to steady itself and recover from the terrifying if ridiculous flight of fancy that is the notion of ‘what if the FAI isn’t the only organisation in the country run into the ground by selfish cute hoors’.

“Oh God, don’t scare me like that. You had me going there for a second,” shared one member of the public, relieved by the reality of the situation; which is that FAI, as an organisation, is a complete outlier and one-off in Irish life and thankfully remains the one and only outfit so poorly run by those at the top it could be a potential subject of criminal investigations.

“Could you imagine, hah,” offered another Irish person, just tickled pink by the outlandish suggestion that somewhere out there today there’s countless businesses and institutions just one pull of a thread away from being exposed as completely unfit for purpose and downright fraudulent.

Clutching its chest after being forced to contemplate such an unnecessary and shocking scenario that thank God, just wouldn’t go swept under the carpet in a country like Ireland, the public returned to getting on with its day.

“Look it, my hand’s still shaking. Could you imagine,” confirmed one member of the public on their way into work for a company who’s lack of corporate oversight and wilful negligence would make the FAI board blush.

In other news, a new look FAI has attempted to regain the trust of the public and enhance its destroyed reputation by cancelling its appearance before the Oireachtas at the last minute.