Government Been Looking At Crime Graph Upside Down All This Time
THE Government have finally realised that crime in Ireland is escalating at a rate that is terrifying beyond comprehension, after an intern taking notes at a Justice Department meeting pointed out that graphs which showed crime falling were actually upside down.
Up to this point, the government were convinced that crime was on a steady decline since the closure of close to 140 Garda stations in 2013, with subsequent drops in criminality happening in conjunction with every budgetary cuts to Gardaí since then.
However, after it was revealed that the chart showing crime going down, down, down was actually an inverted chart showing crime going up, up, up, a red-faced spokesperson for the government has issued a firm ‘our bad’ and pledged to sort everything out.
“We did think it was odd that we were getting such great results, but there were still so many gangland murders and the like” said a spokesperson for whoever is Garda commissioner today.
“People were reporting huge spikes in crime in their areas, but we’d look at the chart and say no, that area is getting safer by the day! Ha ha! Ah, you have to laugh at these things. But yeah, we’ll take a look at everything now that it’s been pointed out to us”.
UPDATE: The government has stated that they actually like the graph back the way it was, and have commended Garda chiefs for their good work.