RUNNING in the upcoming elections for the first time or looking regain your seat? Either way, it’s time to get your mug on every lamppost in the area!
But in the age of HD photography and printing, the standard quarter-turn ‘look over the shoulder, smile but don’t show too many teeth look’ just ain’t gonna cut it among the electorate… you have to put forward your best self, and for that, you may need some help:
1) Use Facetune
It’s the number one selfie-editing app, and if it works for influencers selling slimming tea and spot cream, then it can work for you! Make sure to use all of the tools available on Facetune to make your face look slimmer and more blemish-free on your election poster. Spring the extra 5 euro for the paid version with all the features; it’ll be worth it when that sweet politician paycheck comes rolling in.
2) Love the camera
This isn’t your passport guys, this is a poster that say’s you’re number one vote material! Work that pout! Make love to the electorate with your eyes! For many people, this is the first time they’ve ever seen you because the days of door-to-door constituency work are long gone, so really give it your all! Give them someone to vaguely remember in three years time when they’re wondering ‘who the fuck is my local representative?’
3) Use a photo from the last election
The last few years have been pretty hard on you, so why not just take your posters from one of your failed attempts at election and tart it up a bit using photoshop? Hey, the electorate may not have shown up for you the last time, or the time before that, or indeed the time before that, but that doesn’t mean that you should just accept the fact that the public think you’re a poor politician. You have to keep plugging away! So they’ll see that you’re right, they’re wrong, and then you’re on the payroll!
We appreciate all the help we can get, become a WWN Patreon Supporter below and gain access to bonus content.Become a Patron!