Local Man Leaves Whatsapp Group To Discuss Whatsapp Group In Other Whatsapp Group


DUBLIN man Derek Helgen has taken time out from a lengthy group chat among his friends Conall Doolan, Phillip O’Ryan, Sean Williams, and Sean Og McCarthy, to start a second Whatsapp group chat with just Conall Doolan, Phillip O’Ryan and Sean Williams, in a bid to discuss the behaviour of Sean Og in the original Whatsapp Group chat.

[Update] Helgen has admitted to WWN that his new Whatsapp group is immediately in peril, due to his accidental adding of Sean Og McCarthy to the group instead of Sean Williams. Helgen’s opening line, ‘What’s Sean on about in the group chat, hi?’ has had to be immediately backtracked on, in a bid to convince Sea Og McCarthy that he was in fact talking about Sean Williams. To resolve this issue, Helgen has opened a third group chat with Conall Doolan, Phillip O’Ryan and Sean Williams, making triple-sure that it’s the right Sean in this one.

[Update] With three full group chats open at the same time, Helgen has confided in WWN that he’s struggling to keep track of what lies he’s telling in what group chat, but remains confident that he can continue to shit-talk about Sean Og McCarthy in the third group chat, while maintaining the illusion that he’s shit-talking about Sean Williams in the second group chat. The first group chat, now dubbed ‘group chat prime’, continues as if normal.

[Update] Conall Doolan has opened a fourth group chat containing himself, Phillip O’Ryan, Sean Williams and Sean Og McCarthy, to discuss the gossipy, deceitful sleeveen nature of Derek Helgen.

[Update] Francis Deelan has joined the group chat. Sensing drama, he immediately leaves.

[Update] It is four hours later. There now exists 19 separate group chats among the friends, rife with two-faced sneakiness and deceit. A time for astro on Friday has yet to be nailed down. Chaos reigns.