Grown Man Needs Neymar Jr. If Anyone Has Him


LOCAL adult Peter Wishan has posted a plea on his social media feeds this morning urging anyone with a spare Neymar Jr. Panini World Cup 2018 sticker to come forward, adding that he has ‘loads of doubles for swopsies’.

Wishan, pushing 40, needs only the elusive Brazilian forward to complete his World Cup album, after investing the month’s gas bill money in packs of stickers over the last fortnight to the chagrin of his long-suffering wife Mairead, who is currently fed up with the amount of time her husband has devoted to the cause.

Having spent the entirety of his youth moping over half-finished collections that his Mam would not give him money to help complete, Wishan has tackled the latest World Cup album with a determination that has pretty much sucked all the fun out of the process, and has banned his 7-year-old son from touching his collection as it ‘might disrupt his system’.

“I’ll never forget having that Italia ’90 collection without one full squad completed in the whole album,” said Wisham, buying more packs of stickers from his local newsagents, just none from the top of the pile.

“Not this time. This time, I have a job. I have money. I have responsibilities, sure, but they can wait for a month or two. This time, I’m completing this god damn Panini album if it puts the entire family out on the street”.

Although a service is offered by Panini to buy specific stickers directly from the website at a cost of 25c each, Wisham has stated that he will not be doing this as he considers it ‘cheating’.