Family Going To Take Mother Up On Her ‘Don’t Get Me Anything For Christmas’ Bullshit This Year


FOLLOWING years of festive exasperation, one Waterford family is to call their mother’s bluff and get her nothing for Christmas, as per her request every year since records began.

Maureen O’Lennon, matriarch of the Lennon family, has replied with ‘ach, don’t be getting me anything’ or ‘don’t go to any trouble, I’m grand’ every single time her now-grown kids have asked her what she might like as a gift at Christmas, as a sign of how much she means to the family and as a gratitude for everything she does for her husband and her kids.

Having exhausted the patience of her son Mark (27) and her daughter Dearbhla (24), the O’Lennon siblings have adopted a ‘fuck it’ attitude to their mother’s gift this year, with an agreement that if there mam says she wants nothing, then nothing she’ll get.

“She’s a typical Irish mam with no apparent hobbies, interests, or likes,” said Dearbhla, wondering what she’ll spend her extra cash on this year.

“Plus, she’s got this total martyr complex going on, for no apparent reason. Every year since I could afford to buy her something, I have tried to get her a gift at Christmas that she’ll really love, and every year she plays this ‘ah you shouldn’t have’, ‘don’t be worrying about me’ garbage… well, sorry mam, but me and Mark are taking you up on it. I guess you’ll have a bit more time on Christmas morning to tut and complain”.

UPDATE: The O’Lennon kids have caved already, and will spend about 100 euro buying their mam something she’ll never use.