Bit Early For Talk Of Putting Up Trees, Father Tells Family


A WATERFORD father has acted swiftly to end talk of purchasing a Christmas tree this weekend, WWN has learned.

Dermot Conatty, 39, entered his kitchen last night to discovered his wife and three children debating the size, shape and personality of the tree they would be getting this year. However, Conatty who bestowed the casting vote on when the family purchases their tree upon himself years ago, confirmed ‘it’s a bit early for all that talk’.

“I love Christmas, but if I don’t stand my ground, next thing you know we’re purchasing wrapping paper in March, the Turkey in May and letters to Santa in June,” Conatty explained, fully aware of how fragile his power over the Christmas tree purchase date is.

“The little shits won the wife over on Monday after watching a few Christmas ads, so I’m fighting the good fight all by myself,” added Conatty, who in an ideal world wouldn’t talking about theses things at all until well into December, “they think the thing should have a ‘warm personality’, I mean, can you see what I’m dealing with here?”

Conatty, labeled a killjoy by his children, will continue to make a tutting sound whenever the subject of a tree is brought up. However, his strong stance on the matter will continue to be tested in the coming days when the nation’s roadsides are turned into one giant Christmas tree shop.