Varadkar Going To Tell That Mean Old Ceann Comhairle Where To Go One Of These Days

CURRENT Taoiseach Leo Varadkar stormed out of the Dail chamber yesterday in a huff following a dressing down in front of everyone by the Leas-Ceann Comhairle, kicking the lockers and muttering to himself as he headed straight to the boys cloakroom to hide the fact that he was about to start crying.

The scolding occurred during a heated debate surrounding the handling of the Maurice McCabe whistle-blowing scandal, where Varadkar attempted to dictate to the head of the Dail as to how to conduct proceedings, in a bid to buy himself some time and figure out something that he could say next.

Leas-ceann Comhairle Pat ‘The Cope’ Gallagher immediately and emphatically shut Mr. Varadkar down as the rest of the class issued a collective ‘oooooohhhh’, causing the Taoiseach to sit red-faced for the remainder of the session before the bell rang for little break.

“That stupid old man in his chair, thinking he’s better than me” fumed Varadkar, pacing over and back in the cloakroom as his fellow Fine Gael ministers assured him that the chastising he had just received ‘didn’t look that bad’.

“He knows I’m up against it here with a gravely serious political scandal that I inherited and had hoped was gone away, and he didn’t even give me a chance to deflect questions away or blame someone else. He made me look like an idiot, in front of the Shinnners and the lefties. He wouldn’t have done that to Enda or any of the other Taoisigh! He’s just jealous cos all the kids think I’m cool. I’ll show him, one of these days!”.

Varadkar later denied scrawling ‘Cope is a dope’ on the walls of the Dail toilets, despite it being a perfect match for his handwriting.