Housewide Panic As Local Mother Threatens To Count To Three


THERE have been reports of small children darting around a Waterford household in a fit of panic after one mother in her early 30s threatened to count to three.

Previously content with ‘acting the complete bollocks’, Martin (8), Aine (6) and Brian (4), all children belonging to Rachel Clancey are now said to be rushing around looking for a place to hide after the threat was issued by their mother.

“Shit, shit, shit,” confirmed Martin, who had no idea his mother would react so harshly to him pouring a bag of flour on the kitchen floor and using his younger brother as a mop in a bid to clean up the mess.

Rachel, who was only upstairs for two minutes, delivered the threat which sent shivers up her children’s spines despite being aware of how it could serve to terrorise her children.

“Uh, oh,” added Aine, who maintained she has no idea how her glitter pens ended up all over the wallpaper under the stairs, all while she fled the scene to the safety of her bedroom where she planned on pretending to be asleep despite it only being 4.46pm.

The uneasy truce between mother and children was broken thanks to the children ‘acting like little shits’ however, Rachel still hasn’t made good on following through with the threat and commencing the dreaded count to three.

More as we get it.