WWN Throwback: Remember Fidget Spinners?


IT may seem like ages ago, but try and cast your mind back to the days when everyone was playing Pokemon Go on iPhone 6s, and a new craze appeared on the horizon; the fidget spinner.

Consisting of three prongs rotating around a central bearing, the multi-coloured toy was initially brought to market as a stress reliever for over-worked adults or as an aid for attention-deficit children who needed help concentrating on something, but they were quickly adopted by kids all over the world after going viral on the videoblogs (remember them?) of several high-profile YouTubers (remember them?) on YouTube (remember that?).

Before too long, fidget spinners were for sale in every shop in the country, with newspapers giving them away for free, and ships laden with millions of ‘spinners landing at ports every day.

Until the dark times came.

Until the crash; the dreaded FS crash, where the world’s economy, shored up entirely on speculations around the price of Fidget Spinners, ground to a halt after one kid on YouTube described the toys as ‘kinda lame’, leading to global recession which saw trillions wiped off the stock market and millions plunged into unemployment, recession, and ultimately war.

With nothing to do with the approximately nine billion fidget spinners on earth, we began to use them as tools of war.

Missiles laden with millions of spinners exploded in the air above our heads, dreadful neon cluster bombs that destroyed cities and killed thousands of people at a time.

From the safety of their spinner-proof bunkers, our government assured us that everything was fine. ‘Just keep buying spinners, it it your patriotic duty’ they told us.

And we did.

We starved out children of bread, so we could have cash to buy spinners, like ‘good citizens should’.

With our economies destroyed, people brought cash in wheelbarrows to shops to buy spinners in the vain hope that it would spin up the economy again, but it never did.

In the end, all that was left was me, the last person on Earth, left to roam these ruined wastelands that we once called home.

I scratch this message onto the side of this wall in the hope that someday, some new civilisation, be it built from the ashes of our ruined world, or a visitor from across the sea of stars, might know what happened here.

And never let it happen again.