“I Wasn’t A Finger Up My Hole Type Of Guy Until I Met My New Girlfriend”


IN THE LATEST installment of WWN’s Voices series, we give a platform to someone we really shouldn’t. Today is the turn of Dave Killeen, who was firmly against the firm placement of a finger up his bum, that is, until he met his girlfriend.

Love makes us do crazy things. A finger up the bum at just the right time, makes us do even crazier things.

This is something I can attest to. Which is gas really, ‘cus like, if you asked lads I went to school or college with they’d be like ‘Ah, no way is Dave a finger-bum combo man’, and you know I would have agreed with them for the longest time. Enter Clare. In a literal and figurative sense.

Clare entered my heart with her gorgeous smile and easy going charm long before she entered my anus with her finger, but looking back now, it was inevitable really. I’d call it a yelp; the sound I make when she launches operation finger insertion, I was more of a grunter when it came to the bedroom, but with Clare, I’ve no say in what sounds I utter.

It’s a liberating feeling, and I’d encourage any stick in the mud whose far too concerned with preserving their masculinity to embrace it and give the finger a go. I cried the first time Clare did it, not because it hurt, but because it unlocked something in me. Something long dormant, something I had forgotten was present in me.

My head was wired a completely different way before I met Clare, my bum was strictly for number 2s and the occasional machine gun-like fire of farts, done for the sole purpose of my own amusement. But the more myself and Clare got to know one another, the more I realised my bum wasn’t just for me, I was being selfish keeping it to myself.

It’s been a whirlwind 2 months for us, there’s still so much to learn about one another. One thing I can say I know about Clare though is that with a few glasses of wine in her, she will more than likely instinctively place an index or middle finger up my arsehole while we’re getting down to business.

I can only hope other men are lucky enough to find a woman like Clare, who was brave enough, daring enough to guide me by her finger to a new plane of sexual pleasure. Men, women, humanity; be brave like Clare, dare like Clare.