4 Things Cooler Than Giving Blood, But Obviously Not As Important
THERE can scarcely be a more important and easier thing to do than give blood, yet so many of us shrug our shoulder and casually exclaim ‘fuck that’.
It’s hard not to disagree with such attitudes given that there are an infinite number of cooler things to do and enjoy than handing over some blood that could be used to save someone’s life.
WWN has collected just four things which are infinitesimally cooler than giving blood below:
1) Jumping out of a plane, to evade terrorists onboard, only to turn around and shoot back at them, blowing up the plane
Where did you get the gun? Do you even have a parachute on? Pointless questions, just think about terrorists hell bent on destruction and you pumping lead into them while also firing off a cool catch phrase of your choosing, although we recommend ‘there may be some turbulence ahead’ as you shoot the fuel tank blowing those bad mofos up.
Chatting up women or men in a bar with the line ‘oh me, I was just off giving blood there’
Women love this shit! Men love this shit! Best thing about it is you don’t even have to give blood, you just have to lie about it to get some attention from a sexy lady or man of your choosing (quota of sexy ladies or sexy men may vary bar to bar). Slap a plaster on your arm somewhere, we presume on your elbow because we haven’t given blood either. All that’s left for you to do is sit back and admired and respected for doing a small and relatively mundane thing.
3) Walking away from an explosion in slow motion
This may take practice, but boy will it pay off if you have someone filming you from a safe distance away. You’re going to look so cool. God, and to think your friend said to you the other day you should give blood. Fuck that, imagine how many views something like this would get. You could a meme. A MEME!
4) Scoring the winning point in a space jam style All Ireland final between Ireland and a horde of evil aliens hell bent on destroying earth
Don’t quote us on all the science stuff that would be needed for this to happen but, woah this would be awesome. A 45, a free or a clean burst through the middle it’s up to you really, just avoid being taken out of it by the rough play from the Space Jam style aliens.
The glory will be yours, Ireland’s answer to Michael Jordan. Play your cards right and you could meet Bill Murray too. Maybe 4000% percent more exciting than giving blood, but that’s just a rough estimate.
Click HERE for yet more exciting things to do.