WWN Guide To Awkward Chit Chat With The In-Laws

CHRISTMAS cheer will count for nothing when you lock eyes with your in-laws over the holdiays, as there is no escaping the fact there is always that silent, telepathic exchange which seems to say ‘I take your daughter on regular trips to Funkytown, in fact it’s our favourite destination’.

Solutions for avoiding such awkward exchanges have baffled scientists for millennia until now, as WWN steps in to guide you through it all.

Do: talk about things you’ve no interest in like politics, business, science, creating a better future for the world’s children.

Don’t: thank your mother-in-law for ‘passing on the massive breasts gene’ to her daughter.

Do: act as innocent as the baby Jesus himself. 

Don’t: even think about doing anything else.

Do: say you think tattoos are an abomination and the mark of a buffoon who hasn’t two brain cells to rub together.

Don’t: mention the tattoo you have on your back of their daughter seductively licking an ice pop.

Do: mention your love of the arts, especially poetry.

Don’t: mention your love your other half’s dirty talk.

If this seems far too hard (not: do not laugh at inadvertent innuendos in your in-laws presence) you can adopt a radical, but worthwhile technique whereby you pretend to be a deaf mute until both of her parents grow old and die.