“What About A Vote On Leaving The Eurovision” Pleads British Public

A DEFLATED British public has pleaded with its government to give in to pressure arising from fringe groups who have demanded Britain vote on whether or not to remain in the Eurovision, WWN has learned.

“Why can’t we have a shitty and camp singing thing just by ourselves? Why do we need bloody Bosnia’s and Poland’s votes for singing, we’re better than that,” confirmed staunch member of the NoEurovision campaign Henry Morgan.

Disgruntled voters lamented the fact that on the day they voted on their status within the EU, the option of voting on a far more pressing matter was denied to them.

“I remember a time as a kid when we could listen to shit music whenever we wanted, now it’s just for a couple of nights every May each year and back in the day we didn’t need the Eurovision permission. This is the real stuff we should be voting on. Keep British eardrums British,” confirmed Morgan, while frothing at the mouth.

Those advocating a StayVision vote have conceded that they understand the grievances some people have with the Eurovision, but they maintained there is little benefit to leaving.

“People may feel we need to claw back the right to choose what shitty music competitions we do or do not enter, but we’re better together, and for every boozy club singer we choose, sometimes we have to accept that we’ll never be as batshit crazy and entertaining as Finland or Spain,” StayVision campaigner Stacey Smith shared with WWN.

Meanwhile, in an 11th hour plea to voters Boris Johnson confirmed that he really needs people to vote to leave the EU if they are all going to realise his dream of becoming prime minister in a few year’s time.