Met Gala: 5 People Who Are Way Better Than You’ll Ever Be


YOUR social media newsfeeds and timelines this morning were probably full of images from last night’s Met Gala, an annual event held in New York to remind us all of our place in this world by parading impossibly beautiful people around wearing clothes that cost more than life-saving operations.

Now don’t get us wrong; every single person who attended this event is far superior to us in every way, but here’s 5 that are so far ahead that we’re starting to wonder if we’re even the same species as them.

1) Zayn Malik

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Former One Direction member Zayn Malik showed up to the glitzy event (which seemed to consist of nothing except a red carpet) wearing metal plates on his arms, just because he’s a few rungs up from everyone else on the ladder of life, and that’s what people up there do. No explanation, no reason just ‘hello, don’t mind me, I’m just over here with my stunning supermodel girlfriend and my metal arms’.

2) Zoe Saldana

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Guardians Of The Galaxy star Zoe Saldana isn’t that famous, or rich, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t better than 99.5% of the population of this earth. Zoe proved this with an impossibly impractical gown made from peacocks and chewing gum. You’re probably looking at this photo thinking; that can’t be comfortable. That’s because trackie bottoms out of Penney’s are more your speed, underling.

3) Kanye West

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Refusing to let his bacofoil-clad missus Kim Kardashian steal all the limelight, rap icon Kanye West showed up to the Met Gala wearing blue contact lenses. Try that the next time you go to the pub with the lads; just stick in a pair of baby blues and see how far you get without being slagged to death. that’s because you’re just a normal person. You aren’t good enough to do this kind of thing and be regarded as a fashion visionary. Kanye is. That’s the difference.

4) A Kardashian

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Speaking of Kardashians, here’s… one of them. This girl is so much better than you, it’s unbelievable. You will never be this good. She’s had you beaten since birth. Looks, riches, looks – Kardashian 7, featured in the above photo, was born with them all, meaning at every stage of her life she’s had people worshipping her. The Met Gala was really for her, constructed so that she had somewhere to stand while the media took photos of her to sell to the rest of us so we could be humbled by how better than the rest of us she truly is.

5) This Person

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We’re not even sure who this lady is, she just showed up in a Google search of “Met Gala 2016” under the heading “Must-see looks of the Met Gala”. Who are we to argue as to what it is we must and must not see? If you say we must see this lady, then we must see her. And what do we see? Someone better than we can ever be, wearing an outfit that cost more than our mortgage. We can never attain this level of perfection, but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try. Quick, buy some things! Never be happy with your appearance! Strive to be as good as these people! Die trying!