Petition To Release Carbon Monoxide Into BB House Reaches 22 Million Signatures

AN online petition to slowly release carbon monoxide into the Big Brother house while contestants sleep has reached a staggering 22,127,546 signatures in just 24 hours, forcing the UK parliament to debate the proposal.

The petition, which gained traction on social media platforms, requested that all the remaining housemates should perish before being allowed to leave the show.

“It will be for the best,” explained George Kramer, who began the petition on Thursday morning. “All the contestants this year are complete assholes and the response to the petition really shows that. Eviction night tonight would be perfect. Just tell them no one has been evicted, give them plenty of alcohol and wait ’til they’re asleep to slowly release the gas.”

Addressing the issue in the House Of Commons, British Prime Minister David Cameron said the government will review the future of current finalists, but could not promise anything due to European laws.

“As an avid follower of the program I can relate to some of the grievances people may have towards those who are left in the BB house,” he said. “However, due to human rights issues we may not be able to carry out the petitions request, as much as we would all like to.”

A separate petition to kill off contestants Stephanie Davis and Jeremy McConnell with a chainsaw has also reached signatures into the millions.