Lifting Good Friday Ban Would Ruin Year’s Best Session, Say Purists

ALCOHOL purists and seasoned session heads have reacted badly to plans aimed at easing, or lifting the ban on selling alcohol on Good Friday, claiming that it will completely eradicate the legendary sessions that occur on that day.

The current laws, described by many as “archaic”, forbids pubs and off licences from trading on Good Friday.

Over several years, people who wanted to have a drink on these days have come up with ingenious ways to exploit loopholes in drinks legislation, leading to some of the most epic hoolies ever seen in Ireland.

The Good Friday prohibition laws do not extend to travel hubs, meaning alcohol can still be served in train stations, airports and ferry ports. Many hardcore revellers have been known to purchase cheap tickets with no intention of travelling anywhere, and staging epic sessions with their pals in the airport. For some, this is the “best drinking day of the year”, and there is a fear that this will be lost if the ban is lifted.

“We wait for Good Friday all year to go fucking nuts,” said Liam Jennings, who has already purchased a €10 RyanAir flight to Edinburgh just to get through to the airport bar at 5 in the morning.

“If they lift the ban, then all the pubs will be open and where’s the craic in that? It’ll just be another Friday, nothing ‘good’ about it at all. If you know how to work the system, Good Friday is amazing craic. Just round up the lads and go get shit-faced at the airport, or on a train. You feel like MacGuyver, only MacGuyver on the lash, you know?”

As it stands, the 5AM Flight to Edinburgh on Good Friday is completely sold out, but will be completely empty on take-off.