Nation’s Co-workers Forced To Listen To How Everyone’s Christmas Went
THERE has been troubling scenes across the country this morning as the Nation’s workforce subjects itself to tales of how everyone’s Christmas holidays went.
For many workers Christmas provides an extended break from work, but as a result, many offices up and down the country become filled with incessantly boring anecdotes about ‘the Christmas’ as the first Monday of the year back to work is ushered in.
“Don’t get me wrong, I had a shite and boring Christmas too, but keep it to yourself,” expressed one frustrated co-worker at a Dublin pharmaceutical plant David Kelly, “I had food too, I did nothing too, and I have feck all desire to hear Carmel in accounts tell me the same thing over the course of an hour long story which goes nowhere”.
The first Monday of the new year is painful for many returning to work with the need to share the events of Christmas past high on the list of priorities for a majority of boring shites.
“We instituted a ‘grand’ policy four years ago, and we’d encourage everyone else to do the same,” shared visionary boss and owner of Stapleton Office Supplies, James Stapleton, outlining how staff are limited to the word ‘grand’ when answering questions about how their Christmas went.
“In office assaults on the first day back are down 55%, and we couldn’t be happier to not answer insincere questions about all that stuff anyway,” Stapleton added.
“Staff are given more time to get back to pretending to work as well, so it really is a great policy”.
Elsewhere, the first Monday of the new year has seen a 423% rise in adults travelling to work on their children’s’ hoverboards just to impress their co-workers.