Nation Not Crying, Just Has Something In Its Eye


FOLLOWING the confirmation that Paul O’Connell’s world cup is over through injury, thus bringing an end to his Irish rugby career, the entire Nation has confirmed it has just got something in its eye and is definitely not crying.

O’Connell, who excelled in the green of Ireland an incredible 108 times, has seen his Ireland career come to a close over rupturing his hamstring in the first half of Ireland’s game against France at the weekend.

“No, just shut up, alright,” the majority of the Nation is believed to have said, snapping at any individual who politely asked if it was crying.

Praise for the former Munster forward has been coming thick and fast since confirmation of his injury with many experts confirming, that when his efforts in an Irish shirt were taken into account, it was their humble professional opinion that he ‘is a fucking legend’.

O’Connell is expected to stay on with the squad for the remainder of the tournament.

The 35-year-old won the 6 Nations on 3 occasions, and first took up the game of rugby after falling into a quarry pit as a teenager in Munster and emerging as a fusion of bone, flesh and granite rock.

He recently made headlines before the tournament after saving 12 paraplegic Syrian kittens from a burning building, but his Irish career is most closely associated with banishing the stigma around ginger people and eliciting erotic feelings in otherwise heterosexual men.

His finest individual moment in the green of Ireland came against England in 2008 when O’Connell picked up Brian O’Driscoll and Gordon D’Arcy, who was in possession of the ball, and ran the length of the pitch with them, resulting in a try.

O’Connell is expected to carry on his club career in Toulon, France next year.