Fairy Liquid Manufacturers Make Annual Appeal To Fairy Sperm Donors


FAIRY LIQUID manufacturers Proctor and Gamble have made their annual appeal to the Nation’s indigenous fairy population, as their stockpiles of Fair Liquid’s key ingredient, fairy sperm, is running low.

The sperm, belonging to the male population of the magical creatures, is the key component to Proctor and Gamble’s universally loved washing up liquid.

“That soft feeling of your hands after a good old scrub – that’s the fairy sperm,” a stressed out head of Proctor and Gamble’s fairy division Clive Hill told WWN, “we’d be lost without it, plus nothing gets dried up food off a plate better than fairy sperm”.

The appeal made by the washing up manufacturer has informed fairies that the price they are willing to pay is as much as 25% more than last year, such is the shortage.

“Well, the little fellas are only about this high,” Hill confirmed while placing his hands several inches apart from one another, “the average jizz yield is less than a millilitre so we really are looking at intensive mining of all possible supplies”.

Proctor and Gamble have also insured that the supplies of fairy porn mags are the best they have ever had in their fairy sperm donation clinic toilets. The state of the art facility has capacity for over 300 simultaneous donations at any given time.

“They can come in at any time, and well come. We pay the best rate of any washing up manufacturer, but some desperate fairies are still jizzing for Tesco own brand despite the awful pay,” revealed Donald Wilson, head of the Fairy Liquid sperm clinic.