Nation Slowly Accepting We’re A Bit Shit At Football


FOLLOWING Ireland’s 1-1 draw with Scotland on Saturday, the Nation is slowly accepting the fact that we might be a bit shit at football.

Despite an encouraging first half display, Irish fans were reminded that for much of the past 15 years the national team has failed to live up to even the most limited of expectations such as passing the ball as well as achieving a technical feat known to experts as ‘creating chances’.

Accepting that Ireland is no longer one of the greatest footballing nations in the World has been hard for fans to deal with given the presence of Wes Hoolahan, arguably the finest player to ever put boot to a ball in the history of the game.

“I suppose I’d been resisting it for a while now,” explained disappointed fan Gary Duffy from outside the Aviva after the match on Saturday.

“But you know it used to be – Maradonna, Milan of the early 90s, Zidane, Beckenbauer and Ireland, it just rolled off the tongue and summed up football at its best”.

Ireland famously reached the quarter finals of the World Cup in 1990, paving the way for inflated expectations which have persisted up until 2015, with fans only now accepting Ireland might be a bit shit.

“It used to be that even though some or our squad is made of Championship players we’d be able to give the Brazilian team of the 70s, or Barcelona from today a real good game, even beat them by 8 goals,” supporter Glenn Cullen told WWN.

Ireland has failed to kick on toward football greatest like fellow former World Cup quarter finalists Senegal, Romania, Peru, North Korea and Costa Rica, leading to disappointment amongst fans who had become accustomed to watching the consistently marvellous football played by the national team.

The FAI has sought to quell any unrest amongst disgruntled fans, by stating they would ignore how nations of similar population size have crafted successful squads across all age groups in favour of sending a few lads over to English teams.

“We’ve actually taken inspiration from the Irish abortion crisis, we think the best way to do this is by exporting our problem to England,” FAI chief John Delaney told WWN.