Government To Return Medical Cards In Exchange For Votes

The HSE will now review the process which saw discretionary medical cards revoked from a number of patients with serious illnesses but many have accused the Government of engaging in a cynical political ploy.

A Government insider revealed that the updated process may well involve seriously ill citizens give the majority coalition partner, Fine Gael, their vote in the next general election in exchange for the return of their medical card.

“Look, I’ll give you a quote, but just don’t call it blackmail or bribery, okay?” a Government insider exclusively told WWN of the blackmail scheme currently being mulled over by the coalition.

“Would we have restored the discretionary medical cards had we not received a battering in the recent elections, eh, of, eh, course we would,” stuttered the insider.

Rumours are rife that if any future patients want to avail of a medical card they must prove beyond reasonable doubt that they plan to vote for Fine Gael, failing to do so could result in refusal of treatment.

In the cases of life-saving operations Fine Gael would stipulate that they receive a voters first 3 preferences for their candidates.

“Some pro-Enda poetry or a nice drawing of An Taoiseach would probably help too,” added the insider.

Many of the patients affected by the recent revocations are of course under the voting age of 18 but it appears the ‘votes for cards’ exchange would still be valid.

“Listen, we’re not monsters, we would of course get some of these terminally ill children to sign an agreement and if they fail to vote our way we would probably remove their kidneys or something. Wait, no. Don’t quote me on that,” concluded the insider.