Boy Racers Exhaust Still Not ‘Bwam Bwommping’ To His Liking


VEHICLE modification enthusiast Graham Durnin has today expressed disappointment at the noise level of the custom bought exhaust currently fitted to his 98 Citron Saxo, claiming the sound it emits is more of a BWAAAP and not the BWAM BWOMMMP he really wants.

A stay-at-home son from Belturbet, 19 year old Durnin has spent the past 6 months fine tuning the 1.1 litre engine with the help of several of his fellow boy racers, and believes that with the right amount of time spent staring under the bonnet and revving the engine he will be able to attain the exact level of BWAMP BWOMMP he is striving for.

“The hum off this yoke does be a disgrace at times, hi” said Durnin while checking the oil level for the fourth time that day.

“It’s not what I want it to be at all. I’m looking for a good solid BWAMP BWOMMP. The kind of thing that makes the car sound like a pure bayshte altogether. But all I’m getting is BWAAAP, and all the lads do be laughing at me when I come through town. I went away and bought a new exhaust with the last of my conformation money hoping it would sort it out but so far all I’ve gotten is BWOHHPPP, but I reckon a few more weeks of tuning will sort us out”.

Having invested everything he owns into his car Durnin can now only afford to drive it around the estate where he lives for a few hours every night, where he utilises his neighbours reactions to get an idea as to how close his modification project is to completion.

“When you see the front curtains of house opening as you drive by – that’s when you know you’re heading in the right direction in terms of engine noise”  exclaimed Durnin, sipping on a tin of Lidl brand energy drink his Mam bought for him.

“The neighbours around here are mad for modified cars. Anytime me and the lads are revving our engines at night, you see everyone looking out the windows to see what monster of a car is making such a sweet sound. There’s one lad in a Civic that has the best BWOMMP you ever heard in your life… the Saxo isn’t there just yet, but she will be soon hi!”.