Climate Change: The Facts

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WITH ‘EXTINCTION REBELLION’ protests entering into their 8th day and arrests of climate activists piling up, there is a clear and growing cohort of people who are refusing to let large corporations and world leaders get away with doing nothing to combat climate change.

But just what are the facts behind climate change and the worrying claim that we as a planet have just 12 years to reverse the most damaging aspects of environmental degradation.

WWN Science is here to present the facts in a clear, concise and informative manner:

1) A 16-year-old Swedish girl by the name of Greta Thunberg is almost single-handedly doling out an embarrassing beating to the world’s leading politicians and fossil fuels CEOs and making them “look like pathetic, spineless little bitches” according to leading scientists at least.

2) Large corporations account for the majority of pollution generated on Earth but somehow if you don’t correctly divide your recycling into two separate bins this climate change business is all your fault.

3) Young people are becoming increasingly annoying. Older generations, who have known for some time that they must act to protect the environment, are finding the younger generations almost unbearable, what with their principles, morals and clear sense of duty to the world around them and those vulnerable people most at risk thanks to climate change.

4) A sure sign that the news of climate change’s existential threat to human existence is really being taken seriously by politicians has been reflected in the positive news that some parties have now made combating climate change their 37th or 38th priority.

5) Solutions: ignoring the affects of climate change has so far worked a treat and so we should not deviate from our course in any way, shape or form.

6) According to research watching a documentary narrated by David Attenborough about how animals are affected by climate change increases the average person chance’s of saying ‘oh God, that’s awful isn’t it’ by 700% but leaves their desire to actually do something about it unchanged.

7) The equivalent of a truck full of plastic is dumped into the ocean every minute of the day, which honestly isn’t something you should worry about, because, how many minutes are there in a day, week or year? It can’t be that many surely?

8) Some people care so much about the environment that the gnawing guilt they feel about going to a yoga class instead of a protest almost fucks with their ability to get totally zen while in a downward facing dog pose.

9) If everyone went vegan tomorrow the Earth would revert back to its Pangea form overnight.

10) An end to climate change is in sight as leading figures across the world realise they can bring an end to ‘amusing’ protest signs by simply solving the climate crisis.

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