NEWS has just broken that Health Minister Simon Harris is believed to be TRAPPED inside Simon Harris.
The disturbing incident comes hours after an estimated 400,000 protesters (believed to be convicted murderers from JOBSTOWN and part of the terrorist ANTI-AUSTERITY MOVEMENT) stood VIOLENTLY outside the home of the health minister, WWN can sensationally report with loud sounding words and phrases.
Mr. Harris is now being held against his will inside of his own unsecured body where he is believed to be trapped with the problems haunting the Irish Healthcare system, the HSE, since becoming the Minister for Health in 2016.
“He has absolutely nowhere to run,” a source close to the minister explained, “nursing strikes, cervical cancer scandals, children’s hospital budgets, crumbling health care system; they have him all surrounded against his own will, the poor creature.
“He has even had the old ‘I’ve got confidence in him’ line from the Taoiseach, and everyone knows what that means”.
Mr. Harris was last seen briefly as a free man following the 8th referendum results last year, but it didn’t take long for him to become trapped again inside himself after the EXPLOSION of the Cerivcal Check scandal and last week’s revelations that he knew about the Children’s Hospital’s spiraling budget in August 2018, but did not share this information with his colleagues until November of that year.
“It is not known how much longer Simon Harris can be held up inside Simon Harris, but make no mistake: the protesters responsible for keeping him there will be brought to justice,” Taoiseach Leo Varadkar warned the unwashed.