Farmers Field: Thai Green Chicken Slurry Recipe

WITH the stretch in the evenings officially being upgraded to grand, it is now the perfect time to experiment with your cooking skills in the hopes of finally putting a smile on your family’s sullen and downtrodden faces.

Every farmer knows that the second daily dinner is probably the most important meal of the day, so why not park the traditional red meat and mound of veg for something more exotic to tantalise those Amber Leaf tarred taste buds.

Thai Green Chicken slurry has become the number one “fancy meal” of choice and Farmers Field is here to give you a step by step guide on how to cook your very own version from scratch while using only wholesome ingredients sourced straight from your farm.

What you’ll need to feed a family of 19:

• 67 Organic Chicken Breasts (Not the organic corn fed, dye injected shite you sell the supermarkets – the “real organic chickens”)
• 12 Onions
• 6 Carrots
• 5 Kilos of rice
• 3 heads of broccoli
• 2 litres of unpasteurized milk (nothing like that fresh puss ridden texture to thicken this dish and put hairs even on your daughters’ chests)
• 1 shovel of homemade slurry (please let air for 24 hours as the fumes can be quite dangerous)
• Pound of butter
• Silage to garnish

First of all, dice and brown off the chicken in a large pot. Chop up the carrots, broccoli and onions and fuck them all in with a pound of butter before stirring with a large  black plastic pipe. Fuck in the milk and bring to the boil for 10 minutes. Now add a shovel of slurry. NOTE: add more to taste, depending on how much slurry you want your dish. Boil the rice in a trough and serve with some chopped silage will do. And your done. Yum.