New Girl No Craic


THE votes are in; the new female hire at a Waterford office has been found to be ‘zero craic’ by her male co-workers, who have found her to be a poor replacement for the girl who just left, who you could at least talk to.

The naturally shy Carrie Whelan was brought round and introduced to her new co-workers at McKillian & Sons in Waterford City center, endearing herself to many of the female staff but raising several red flags with the lads of the business.

Whelan, 25, committed the cardinal sin of not laughing at risque jokes deliberately cracked by several of the males within earshot of her desk, placing her in the ‘one to be wary of’ among the banter merchants in the office.

“You could see her getting uncomfortable whenever we said ‘fuck’ or ‘cunt’ or ‘riding’,” scoffed one of the office’s many alpha-males.

“Like, Sharon before she left used to be like that, but she knew she had to get used to it if she wanted to be part of the office gang, and eventually was grand with it. This new one, she’d be dour enough, probably the type to report you if you even so much as looked at her. What are me and the lads supposed to do, watch what we say and act appropriately in a working environment? Not likely. Here, out of curiosity, why was it Sharon left again?”

Should her discomfort continue, Ms. Whelan is more than welcome to file a complaint with the manager, for all the good it’ll do her.