“Fuck The Nurses,” Clarifies Government


REMOVING any ambiguity from recent comments made in public, to the Dáil, in the media and said privately when they think no one is listening, the Government have helpfully clarified for the public ‘fuck the nurses’, WWN can reveal.

As separate strike actions from midwives and psychiatric nurses remain ongoing, the government has tried to provide the public with a clear and concise update on where they stand on the whole issue of letting the public health service collapse before our very eyes due to ongoing wilful negligence.

Striding to a podium set up on the steps of Leinster House members of Taoiseach Leo Varadkar’s cabinet took turns in saying “fuck the nurses” into a microphone before the Taoiseach thanked the media for their time and confirmed he would be taking no further questions.

“We were looking for a short and snappy phrase that best distilled the obvious and open contempt we hold striking nurses in, and after a bit of a brainstorm and €500,000 spent on a crisis communications PR company, we really feel we’ve nailed it,” confirmed a spokesperson for the Department of Blame Everyone Except The Government.

Fine Gael have been praised for an improvement in their communication skills, and some sections of the public were quick to praise the government’s candid update.

“It’s good to finally have a government in place that doesn’t speak in fecking riddles and PR-speak,” confirmed one voter, who if he was being honest had no interest in increased pay for nurses because sure didn’t they know what to expect before getting into the profession.