Inquiry Into Loss Of Garda Machine Gun To Cost €4bn

AN inquiry into an incident yesterday afternoon which saw the temporary loss of an official garda firearm is expected to last 38 months and cost the taxpayer €4 billion, WWN can reveal.

It is understood a sub-machine gun with ammunition, which was in an official carrier bag, fell out of an emergency response unit vehicle after it went over a ramp and the boot opened.

“What if a young child had found the gun, or worse – an American tourist? Or worse again a young American child or worse even more a young American ethnic child. It doesn’t bare thinking about” posed a government source, “there could have been dozens, if not hundreds of people killed yesterday afternoon if that weapon got into the wrong hands”.

“The public demand accountability and we must investigate this to the fullest. When the public’s safety is at risk we cut no corners,” explained the source, who has rejected calls on at least 978 occasions for Garda training and resources to be improved so the public aren’t only one major incident away from realising its police service is held together by duct tape.

The inquiry was given the green light by the government late last night, who vowed to put every resource available into the investigation, including dozens of lawyers, barristers and judges who will be paid triple time to rush the inquiry through using money they previously was unavailable when gardaí asked for faulty car boots to be repaired.

“We may have to make some cuts in an Garda Síochána until the investigation is complete, but we will get to the bottom of this,” Minister for Justice and Equality Charles Flanagan explained, as he boarded a plane for his annual three month holidays today, “don’t worry, I have my best friends… sorry, I mean people, working on the case”.

Elsewhere, Joe Duffy has collapsed with exhaustion after running a marathon 108 hour Liveline segment on how we could have all died after the gun fell out of the vehicle.