Cow Just Going To Dry Hump Other Cow For A While

CARLOW bullock 09655 is to spend the most of today rambling around in his field, eating grass, and occasionally mounting and grinding the other cattle in the field for no apparent purpose.

“Ah look, it passes the time doesn’t it?” sighed the beef stock yearling, nonchalantly dry humping a passing Charolais.

“It’s not a sex thing, sure I’ve had the old ‘you know what’ done… it’s just boredom I suppose. It’s dry hump or stare at the horizon, and I’ve seen the horizon, you know?”

09655’s fellow herd mates are very familiar with his penchant for bumpin’ belly to back, and usually say nothing when he starts as the argument “isn’t worth the hassle”.

“Just let him get it out of his system” stated the bullock tagged 09689, as he was mounted in what 09655 assured him ‘wasn’t a gay thing’.

“Pass me that bucket of nuts, will you? I’m here for the next half hour at least. Then he’ll wander off and drink some water and then go and dry hump some other poor steer. Sweat a life, eh? Sort of makes me wish for the lorry to come for us as quickly as possible”.

Although the phenomenon of random cow dry-humping is given no notice by farmers, a new study has shown that non-rural people are ‘fascinated’ by it.