NOT content with comparing nuclear button sizes with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, a confused US President Donald Trump threatened to give Palestine AIDS in between munching on a family bucket of KFC, WWN can confirm.
“Aid? Aides? Aid. Aid! Palestinian aid? AIDS, give them aids,” Trump barked at his White House aides as he guzzled back a 12th can of Diet Coke while turning up the volume on Fox News, which had seconds previously run a segment suggesting the president cut aid to the region.
Careful to relay the latest information regarding world affairs in the best way possible to the most powerful person in the world, a White House aide placed a megaphone squarely towards the president’s ear and spoke in a slow, and more deliberate tone.
“Just give them AIDS from the AIDS machine,” shouted the president, alluding to what is hopefully not a euphemism for his genitals. Trump’s latest outburst has given hope to people who never thought the president could possibly top this week’s work of threatening nuclear war on North Korea or taking credit for worldwide airline safety.
This latest outburst by the president was fueled by something he saw on TV relating to the Palestinian Authority, which has not taken kindly to the relocating of the US embassy in Israel to Jerusalem, as well as myriad human rights violations carried out by Israeli forces, with Mahmoud Abbas suggesting someone else, other than Trump, may be better suited to the role of peacemaker.
“Give him a nuclear bomb to the face,” Trump is believed to have said in response.
Growing frustrated at how difficult it has become to explain even the most basic premises to the president, senior White House officials abandoned their current tactics in favour of ringing Fox News studios and asking them to broadcast a report on the difference between AIDS, monetary aid and White House aides.
It is believed this is the first time a sitting president has attempted to give a country recognised by 193 member states of the UN the AIDS virus.