Revealed: Why It Takes Women So Long To Get Their Hair Cut

IF YOU’RE a man, then you’ll know that a haircut takes about 12 minutes, including reading the Beano while you wait. You sit in the chair, the barber gives you the same style that he gives to 90% of the car stereo-thieves and sex offenders in the nation, and then you’re out of there scratching the back of your neck.

But women, now that’s a different story. There are women who went out for haircuts last year who still haven’t come home. What could possibly take so long? Some women only have like, an inch taken off the bottom of their hair… how could that possibly take four hours?

If you’re a man who has ever had to sit in the car for a day while waiting for your missus to have a wash ‘n blowdry, you may be asking just what goes on during that time. WWN went undercover, and the reasons will astound you…

1) They just want to be away from you

Turns out the main reason women spend so long at the hairdressers is because they cannot stand the people in their lives; particularly the men. Their boyfriends, husbands, brothers, fathers, bosses, teachers… they hate you all. You are everything that is wrong in their life. You get paid more. You have more rights. You don’t have to try so hard to get what you want. Nothing is as much of a struggle for you as it is for the average woman. When a crime is committed against you, people believe you. When you want a medical procedure, you get it. Nobody judges you on what you wear, what you say, or how you act. You can have sex with whoever you want, whenever you want and nobody will give you shit for it. So when a woman want’s a few hours of peace, a few hours away from the hell that is living as a female in this world, she goes to the hairdressers. The actual haircut takes, at best, 12 minutes. The other five hours are spent bracing herself for a return to a world which just fucking sucks.

2) That’s it.

There is no second reason.