Tag: weather

BREAKING: Ireland To Burst Into Flames Any Minute Now

THE SOARING temperatures occurring as the country descends into a sweaty mess will result in the entirety of Ireland bursting into flames any minute now, weather experts have warned. The country of Ireland, which comes with instructions to ‘store in a cool, dry place and never putting in direct sunlight’ is perilously close to exceeding… Read more »

Man Hay Fever: The Facts

A DEADLY new strain of hay fever is currently gripping the male population of Ireland, with symptoms that are said to be exponentially more severe than the regular variant of the pollen intolerance. With women said to be largely unaffected, the strain dubbed ‘Man Hay Fever’ is said to be almost as lethal as other… Read more »

WWN Guide To Sleeping In That Heat

AS Ireland’s biannual heatwave continues to bathe the country in temperatures of up to 30 degrees celsius, the Nation once again finds itself confronted with with the seemingly solutionless problem of heat-based insomnia. Given that the majority of Irish housing units are built with the sole purpose of keeping out driving rain for 364 days… Read more »

Lidl Install Security Walls Around Shops As Snow Predicted

AN UNPRECEDENTED level of construction is currently taking place at Lidl stores across the country as Met Éireann weather reports have confirmed the potential return of snow in the coming days. With 189 of Lidl’s 190 Irish shops still in operation, the retailer has begun construction of large JCB-proof security walls which will inhibit anyone… Read more »