DESPITE the cool blustery conditions synonymous with every Irish season, Limerick man Luke Walsh is determined to enjoy his half day off from work by sending colleagues a picture of a nice cold pint of wheat beer, but opting to leave out his ice cold set of testicles. Finishing early, Walsh set out on his gloating… Read more »
WHEN quizzed about the four hundred euro he spent on a Dyson Hot and Cool fan heater last summer, local man Eric Cinnerton has stated that it was ‘money well spent’, adding that he doesn’t regret the seemingly extravagant purchase of an item which does a job a much cheaper product could easily replicate. Although… Read more »
MAINLAND EUROPE is in the grips of an unprecedented recording-setting heat wave and French authorities are now on high alert as the Eiffel Tower is slowly beginning to melt in the intense and unrelenting heat. The famous tower was constructed at a time when the average temperatures during summer were far lower than the ones… Read more »
NINE people have died and four more are still missing, following a Dublin man’s attempts to have a nice summer barbecue in his back garden on what seemed to be a perfectly nice day. Derek Quigley had called home earlier yesterday to tell his wife Eileen ‘not to put on any dinner’, as he had… Read more »
THE IRISH nation is beside itself with worry and fear as the full scale of the damage Climate Change can cause has truly set in for the first time. ‘Leaving Cert weather’, an annual two weeks of guaranteed blistering sunshine have been devastated by rainfall and generally shitty weather conditions prompting many climate change deniers… Read more »
WWN would like to apologise to readers for alarming them with a headline that suggested a huge tropical storm was about to destroy their lives, loved ones and properties, and would like to reassure you that said storm is taking place on the far side of the world and as such has no bearing on… Read more »
IN an unprecedented meteorological experiment, the island of Ireland is to be submerged in a bowl filled with billions of tonnes of uncooked rice for 12 to 18 hours to see if it can be dried up a bit, WWN can exclusively confirm. The move comes as the country is buffeted by yet another series… Read more »
A PRESS release from the Department of We Can’t Believe We Have To Say This But has warned the public not to place their cold pets in the microwave in an effort to heat them up during the cold weather. DWCBWHTSTB officials have also made a similar warning related to pensioners but admit to being… Read more »
THE latest weather report from Met Éireann has confirmed the nation’s worst fears; that although the next couple of weeks will remain bitterly cold, it will not reach a point where we all get a free day off work again. Satellite imaging has shown that there does not appear to be a ‘Beast From The… Read more »
MET ÉIREANN has today communicated to the public that Irish weather will consist of either raging storms or unprecedented heatwaves with no middle ground or respite from the divergent conditions, WWN can confirm. “Yup, this is pretty much it from now until your grandchildren ask why the fuck you didn’t do anything about climate change,”… Read more »