AWARE of the strange belief held by some Irish people that Met Éireann is personally responsible for all the bad weather endured on the island, staff at the meteorological outfit have sought to reverse the bleak and constant torrents of rain, wind and cold with a new non-scientific approach.
“Bless the rains down in Africa, I hope this works,” shared one staff member before beginning a media blitz in which Met Éireann will appeal to the people of Ireland to begin chanting the well known musical refrain of ‘rain, rain, go away come again another day’ until the incessant rain ceases.
“For this to work we need every one to start at precisely 11am. Without exception, every man, woman and child is needed if this exercise in positive mental attitude is to triumph over being pissed on from the Heavens,” added the trained meteorologist, discarding years of study in favour of blind hope.
Having last experienced a rain free day sometime around the beginning of the 9th century BC, it’s believed Irish people will be an ‘easy sell’ on banding together to banish the rain via the singing of a whimsical nursery rhyme.
“Okay, and we have to hold hands and form like a big line of people. Think positive people. Positive vibes!” screamed a clearly stressed Met Éireann official who has taken to living in a submarine to escape the rain.