Tag: hurling

Limerick Win Some Stupid Trophy For Idiots

THE easily-fooled Limerick hurling team have headed home from Croke Park after their opponents Waterford smartly allowed them to win the almost-certainly-cursed Liam McCarthy Cup yesterday, guaranteeing a year of misfortune and woe for the Treaty county while the Déise boys enjoy another 12 months of prosperity and good fortune. “Well done lads, we fooled… Read more »

Tipp Girl Wearing County Jersey Everywhere

DETERMINED not to let the coronavirus pandemic come between her and her public adoration of her county team, Tipperary woman and die-hard supporter, Anne Phelan has vowed to proudly wear her Tipp jersey everywhere she goes. Despite all hurling fixtures being rescheduled for November, Phelan’s own biological GAA clock was hesitant to change, defiantly opting… Read more »

Coping With Insufferable Tipp Fans, A Guide

TIPPERARY won their 28th All Ireland hurling final yesterday afternoon seeing fans once again resorting to their default factory setting ‘insufferable bore’, but just how does the rest of the country cope with their endless boasting? Read below. With random public chants of ‘C’mon Tipp’ currently at peak levels it is vitally important not to show your disdain… Read more »

GAA Launch Witness Protection Program For Referees

FEARING for the safety of match referees and staff over questionable calls on the field, the Gaelic Athletics Association has launched an optional witness protection program which will relocate referee’s abroad, WWN can confirm. The new measure launched shortly after the weekend’s All Ireland hurling semi-final, where the referees, linesmen and umpires came under fire for… Read more »

Local Man Asked To Stop Comparing Every Sport To Hurling

WATERFORD man William Shannon has been begged by his family and friends to just try and enjoy sports that aren’t hurling, without griping about how the athletes and competitors aren’t as hardy as hurlers, or how the action is slow-paced compared to a hotly contested All-Ireland quarter-final where there’s ‘sliotairs getting leathered around the place’…. Read more »

Kilkenny Fans Turning Up To Croke Park Out Of Habit

A STEADY stream of understandably devastated Kilkenny locals have been turned away from Croke Park this morning after security staff gently broke the news to them that their county, winners of 8 out the last 12 All-Ireland hurling championships, were not in this year’s final. “Fuck sake,” declared an upset Kilkenny native, who, owing to… Read more »